Me and Mr Jones

Sweet Jesus, think of the suspension , man!

Way down South, I guess it’s Dixie, let’s say it is Mobile Alabama.

Alabama Slammer Mayor Sam Jones is not only a fine figure of a man he was so concerned when he found an unannounced visitor in his garage that he drew his gun on him.

The media in Alabama are questioning whether the plus size Shaft had a permit or could legally carry the weapon.

It turned out that the unwanted guest had some “issues”, that plus an unlicensed fire arm are no cause for concern when Sam Jones is on the case.

Fat politics is alive and well in the sultry South as Alabama lawmakers voted for the NRA law to make gun ownership private, rather than the annoying public register.

So we may never know is Scintillating Sam Jones’ weapon was legal, of that he was just pleased to see his unexpected guest.


“Never hold an inquiry unless you know what the outcome will be”

Russ, centre, with a couple of jockeys

  • Russ Hinze was a conservative country politician from Queensland, Australia.  A bit Boss Hogg you might say.
  • He was notoriously tough on the old law and order jaw-jaw , but was even more notorious for his rather blind eyes.  He was named in the famous Fitzgerald Inquiry for accepting bribes from business types.
  • He was a dairy farmer who had one too many helpings of cream cheese.
  • His one enduring legacy, if I may be indulged here, is his grand daughter..

There was something good inside Russ...his grand daughter Kristy


Moore baby…

I'll have two more slices, and some potato skins, and some fries, Sprite, no Mountain dew, no, Diet Pepsi. And an apple pie....

Michael Moore is not a politician but then neither is Donald Trump.  One wears a cap , the other has a squirrel on his head.

One might run for the White House.  One might be found at a steak house.

After the Occupy movement was booted out of  Wall Street Michael Moore stood in.  He filled the park.

Many say that Moore is full of it.  Cake, pizza, burgers, he’s full of all of it.

Moore is not so much left wing as buffalo wing.

Moore is so rich he could afford decent clothes.  But then he would look like a fat, rich bastard, whereas he is really a man of the people.  Several people.

Here’s a tip : avoid getting in an elevator with Moore he will bore you rigid with his views on guns, healthcare and other tedious liberal hate crimes.  And it is likely the weight limit for the elevator will be exceeded.

 

 


Hockey..one..Hockey..two

Australian Liberal heavyweight Joe Hockey regrets the second helping.


Kim Jong Un Fat Douche

I am so angwy, and hungwy, I hate you Dad , why did you have to be buwied on sheperds pie Tuesday. They killed weal sheperds and evewyfing.

Fat politicians in the modern age are mostly supporting players, doomed to waddle around behind some thin faced gimp with a gift for sound bites.

Not so our far distant cousins in the Peoples Gulag of North Korea.

If ever you ask yourself, which is better Communism or Capitalism , compare the pair, North vs South.  It’s “juche” no comparison.

While the South became industrial heavyweights and join the developed world only 60 years after having been blown up in a proxy war, the North have become some putrefying prison camp where the people starve.

Except for the Great Dear Superfly Leader Kim Jong Un.  He is eating for Pyongyang and all the provinces.  His blood sugar levels are through the roof and he is only in  his twenties.  Sadly, his people can only dream of having any sugar in their blood.

It is depressing that he is fat, fatties are supposed to be jolly.  It is even worse that he has that fat kid’s haircut which just makes you want to pants him.

I try not to wish Il of anyone but it was his dad’s name .

Come on China, do the right thing, get them on the righteous development road and not stuck in their Nightmare on the Yalu River.


The Original Fat Bastard

Cyril Smith adorns our banner, the fattest man to ever squash the leather in the British Parliament.  Cyril was a whopping 190 kgs.  Hello big boy.

Cyril was actually a bastard, we suspect his father was a Yorkshire Pudding.

Cyril loved his mum and made her his Mayoress of Rochdale.  He kept the old bint working as a cleaner all the same.

Cyril was a turncoat , so he was a political bastard as well as a bastard- bastard. Originally a Liberal, then Labour, back to Liberal again, and finally Liberal Democrat. He would have enjoyed being rogered by David Cameron, helping to take the Lib Dems back to their pre-Cleggian obscurity.

It is rumoured that the Liberals offered him cream cakes.

Cyril Smith had a political career , but we are unsure if he has a political legacy.  Fact – it was not a storm which cost Sevenoaks six of its oaks, the wood was needed for his casket.

If memory serves when he appeared on the BBCs Question  Time they put him where they usually sat the Tory, on the Right end so we could see him in all his rotund glory.

He was very involved in activities with young people, but never married.

I am going for a wash…

The Liberals purposely lost seats so that Cyril could have his...


Big Kim Not Ill

Our former idol Kim Beazley , Jnr , once Deputy PM of Australia, then debate winning and election losing Opposition Leader.

As one of his opponents nailed him :  Too much tucker, not enough ticker.

He is a decent man, which is probably why he never made it to the top.

His choker was the 1998 election when he won a majority of the vote but not enough of the seats to form Government.  That was his peak public office wise.

He is currently Australia’s Ambassador to the USA.

Kim likes KFC and cheese, so he should feel at home in Washington.